


You’re an asshole

by bisexualreyes



Category: Call Me By Your Name (2017), Call Me By Your Name (2017) RPF, Call Me By Your Name - All Media Types, Call Me by Your Name - André Aciman, Charmie - Fandom
Genre: AU, Angst, Celebrity Crush, Eventual Smut, Famous actor, How Do I Tag, M/M, Rating May Change, Slow Burn, translator
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-29
Updated: 2019-06-13
Packaged: 2020-02-10 00:12:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18648964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bisexualreyes/pseuds/bisexualreyes
Summary: Timothée Chalamet is a student who studies Translation and Interpreting. Armie Hammer is a famous single actor who lives in LA, but is currently in New York for a small getaway. It’s all fiction.





	1. Smile

“Dude, Armie Hammer is here.”

“Okay?” Timmy asked trying to sound indifferent, yet failing miserably. 

It was a rainy day in New York and Timmy decided to grab coffee with Saoirse on this little coffee shop where she worked. It was her day off, but this place had sort of become their place, especially on days like these, when being outside was definitely not an option. They were sitting on their usual table by the window, when Saoirse spotted the actor sitting with a tall guy in a not so well lit table, on the corner of the shop, just opposite of her. 

“You’re acting like I don’t know he’s been your celebrity crush since you were a teenager. Come on pony, it’s me. You don’t have to pretend like you’re not dying to go talk to him.” Saoirse said while giggling. 

It was true. Timmy has had a crush on Armie Hammer since he was 16. It was actually Armie who made him realize he was also into guys. Yet, he would never go talk to him, he would never bother someone when he was just trying to chill with a friend, no matter how much he was dying to actually meet the object of his wet dreams. 

“I’m not a teenager anymore, Sersh. Besides, it’s not the first time you’ve pulled a prank on me. It’s not a good day. Anyway, I have to pee.”  
“Okay pony, whatever you say.” Saoirse said smirkingly. 

-

When Timmy came back from the bathroom -where he threw a considerable amount of water on his face, trying to relax, and basically grasp the concept of Armie freaking Hammer possibly being in the same place as him- he went back to his table, only to find that Saoirse had changed chairs and now was sitting in Timmy’s spot, leaving him to sit right across from where Armie was supposedly sitting. 

“Just to convince you that I was actually telling the truth, and to give you the chance to stare all you want, since you’re too much of a chicken to actually do something.”, she said stifling a giggle. 

Timmy sat in her previous spot and finally let himself look at this gorgeous huge man, who was indeed Armand Hammer.

He was wearing black jeans, a plain gray shirt and a leather black jacket along with combat black boots. His hair was really short and his beard was a little long but perfectly trimmed. Timmy had never seen anyone like him. He was even hotter in person and that was saying a lot. If Armie wasn’t an actor, he could very easily be a model. Timmy tried not to stare, but it was getting really difficult. And then Armie laughed. This guy with him said something and Armie was laughing, a deep kind of laugh, that made Timmy almost drool, while being instantly jealous of the guy who made him make this sound. How he wished, he was the one making this man laugh. How he would love to have inside jokes with him, and whisper things in his ear, while in bed, after having fucked their brains out. 

“Hello? Earth to Timmy!” Saoirse’s voice woke him up from his daydreaming. “I thought you didn’t care he was here.” Timmy made a face and tried to pretend he was just curious. 

“I don’t”, he said. “It’s just common curiosity. How often do you see a Hollywood star up close, Sersh? I know you don’t play for this team, but still, he’s definitely gorgeous. Objectively speaking, of course.”

“Of course.”, she said, without being able to keep a straight face. 

Timmy rolled his eyes, and pulled his phone out. 

“Hey” he said “Will just texted me. There’s a party in his building Friday night. Some girl he knows from school is having a big blowout. He wants to know if we’re interested.”

“Oh, we’re interested. I’m working late on Saturday anyways, so it’s kind of perfect. Tell him we’re in.”

“Cool.” A party seemed like a great thing, actually. Timmy was having a rough couple of months, since he broke up with Madi, and he really needed to blow off some steam. Lately, he’d been on edge about everything. “It’s settled. He’s asking where we are right now, so maybe we could hang.”

“I have to write an essay, so I need to get going pretty soon. But tell him I love him. Here, send him a pic.” Saoirse said, while already making a face and striking a pose. 

Timmy snapped a photo of her and was about to take a second one, because the first one was kinda blurry, when suddenly a huge guy appeared in front of him, asking to put his phone away. 

“What?” Timmy asked dumbfounded. 

“Your phone, sir. Put it away. I understand you want a picture of a celebrity, but I’m gonna have to stop you.” said this enormous dude. Timmy tried to understand what was happening and if someone was pranking him, when he actually put two and two together. This guy was probably a bodyguard, and thought he was trying to snap a photo of Armie sneakily. 

“Dude, what the fuck? No. I was just taking a picture of my friend here.”

“Yes, I know. And it was a crazy coincidence that mr. Hammer was there in the background.” said the stranger a bit more hostile now. 

“Man, I didn’t even see mr. Hammer.” said Timmy mockingly. 

And that’s when it happened. Out of nowhere, Armand Douglas Hammer had appeared at their table. And when he spoke, Timmy’s knees started to tremble, and he thanked god he wasn’t standing. 

“Dylan, it’s okay. Go back to your table. I got this.” Armie said to his bodyguard (probably). When Dylan went back in his seat, Armie turned to Saoirse and Timmy (mostly Timmy, who still held his phone) and talked in a deep and pretty low voice. “Hey man, I’m happy you’re a fan, but this is an invasion of my privacy. You could have asked me for a selfie or an autograph yourself, instead of trying to be sneaky.” he said, and Timmy was snapped out of his trance state in an instant. It was like someone has poured cold water all over him. 

“Look dude,” Timmy said, “I know you’re famous and shit, but you don’t have to act like an entitled asshole. Not everybody wants your photo or your autograph. I was just taking a picture of my friend here, when both of you actually interrupted us, so who’s really being rude to whom?” He was furious and a little disappointed with Armie. He didn’t know what he was expecting, but this was definitely not it. 

“Cool, yeah.” Armie seemed actually taken aback. It only took him a second to regain his composure and act all chill again. “Can you please delete the photos you took of your friend anyway though?” He said, acknowledging Saoirse for the first time. 

“No.” Timmy said adamantly. 

“Timmy it’s fine. We’ll send another one to Will, after we leave.” Saoirse said. She wasn’t the one to be this calm in situations like this, but she probably sensed how furious Timmy really was, and she just wanted this to be over as quickly as possible.”

“I’m not deleting shit.” Timmy said a little angrily. “I don’t know who died and made mr. Hammer here the king, but I’m not jumping ‘cause he just said jump.”

“Timmy” said Armie hesitantly, trying Timmy’s name, “please you have to delete them.” 

“No, man” Timmy said harsher now, trying so hard to ignore how hearing Armie Hammer calling him by his name made him feel. “I’m not deleting shit. If you don’t want people to see where you are, stay in your fucking house.”

“So, you think it’s okay to take someone’s picture without their permission? Us celebrities need our privacy, too. I just wanna have a coffee in peace, why do I have to deal with this?” Armie said more intensely now. 

Timmy unlocked his phone and finally showed him the picture he took of Saoirse. It was taken in a way that Armie couldn’t have been in the shot, even accidentally. He had actually made sure beforehand that Armie wouldn’t be visible, exactly because he didn’t want to violate someone’s privacy, even of someone who was supposed to be used of being this public. 

“See?” Timmy said smiling a fake smile that dripped poison. “Not everybody wants your picture mr. Hammer. Not everybody gives a shit about who you are.”

And with that, he stood up and stormed out of the coffee shop, waiting for Saoirse to meet him just outside. He knew she needed to say goodbye to her boss before leaving, and he definitely needed a cigarette.


	2. You’re getting on my nerves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I’m back again. I’m gonna probably keep the chapters a little short, and try to update as frequently as possible.

Armie’s POV

“Dude, I think I fucked up.” Armie said while getting back to his table. It’s been a good two minutes since this kid, Timmy, totally called him out for the pretentious ass he in fact was. “I acted exactly the way I’ve always said I wouldn’t. Like the world revolved around me, and this kid totally saw through me. I feel awful man. I didn’t get into acting for this. Not that it matters. He seemed like he had actually no idea who I was. And if he did, he definitely didn’t give a shit about it. I mean you should have seen the picture he took of his friend. Or was she his girlfriend?” Armie stopped to think about it for a moment. A moment too long for Nick not to read between the lines. “Anyway, he definitely wasn’t aiming for me, and I made a scene for nothing.” he sighed while sitting back on his seat. 

“Why didn’t you apologize then? After you realized he wasn’t a crazy fan, I mean?” Nick asked, barely trying to hide his smirk. 

“I didn’t even get the chance, man. He just stormed out, and I didn’t want to follow him. I’ve already made enough of an ass of myself, thank you very much. Why are you so cheerful anyway?” Armie asked when he finally noticed his best friend’s expression of pure amusement. 

“Nothing man, I’m sorry.” Nick said, smiling, definitely not sorry. “It’s just really weird to see you like this. All worked up about a stranger. You’re the definition of chill most of the time.” 

“Yeah, I know. But it doesn’t mean that nothing bothers me man. This was kind of fucked up.” Armie said, sighting, all the fight leaving him at once. 

“Come on. I’m buying you lunch. I know a great steakhouse close by. It looks like the rain has stopped anyway. Tell Dylan to go home, and let’s go before it starts pouring again.” Nick offered with a smile, knowing well enough that his best friend would never refuse a good steak. 

-

“I mean, I was so out of line, Nick.” Armie said, while cutting a piece of steak with his knife.” You should have seen how pissed off he was once I got there. At first he looked so serene, and when he understood what Dylan was asking of him, it was like a switch turned off. He became so guarded in an instant.”

“Interesting.” Nick chuckled. 

“What?” Armie barked, his mouth full, trying to chew. 

“It seems like you’ve paid a lot of attention to the kid, even before you came up to him.” Nick was obviously enjoying this, too much for Armie’s liking. 

“What do you mean?” He was starting to get annoyed. 

“He looked so serene? Really? It just seems really weird that we’re still on this.” Nick said raising his eyebrow. 

“I don’t want people to think I’m a prick, man. That’s it.”

“People in general? Or this kid in particular?”

“People, Nick. Timmy included.” Armie said, while taking a sip of his beer. 

“Oh, it’s Timmy now? Is that right?” Nick chuckled. 

“That’s his name. What should I call him?” Nick was really getting on his nerves now. He just didn’t like coming off as an asshole, especially to his fans, even though Timmy really didn’t seem to give a single fuck he was famous. 

“I don’t know. I didn’t think we would still be talking about this, to be honest. You’ve had bad encounters with fans in the past. Didn’t seem to phase you then, didn’t think it would bother you this much now. Unless, you liked the guy.” Nick said smiling. “It’s okay Arms, it’s me.”

“I don’t even know him, man. Of course I don’t like him.” Okay, that was clearly a lie. Timmy was definitely handsome. He was tall, not as tall as him, but he was taller than most guys he’d met. He had long brown curly hair, too fluffy to not be styled like this on purpose, but messy enough. He was really slim, and he was wearing black skinny jeans, a black T-shirt and a bright yellow jacket. But his best feature was by far his face. His eyes were the most beautiful green Armie had ever seen, and it was like they changed color with each second he was getting angrier. His lips were a delicious shade of dark pink and his jawline could cut glass. Statuesque, kind of feminine, but definitely a man. It sort of ticked all of Armie’s boxes. Under other circumstances, he would definitely have tried to make a move. 

“You don’t have to know someone, to be physically attracted to him Arms.” Nick smiled. “I’ve known you your whole life man. I know when you’re interested. Look, you’ll be here for another two weeks. Maybe you should try and find him, make things right with him, and see whether he might be interested. You’ve got nothing to lose, man. If you’re gonna obsess over him, you might as well do something about it. And if he’s not gay, you will at least show him you’re not really a dick and probably feel better in the end.”

“How am I going to find him, man? I barely know his name.” Nick did indeed make sense. Seeing Timmy again and apologizing to him would actually make him feel better, even if he wasn’t interested in anything more. 

Nick smiled knowingly, Armie did deserve to find someone new, and he definitely looked smitten with the kid. So if he could help him, he would. He took a deep breath, giving some thought to it and finally said:  
“Maybe we should start with the coffee shop.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can’t believe all the positive feedback I received from you guys. I love everyone of you who took the time and gave me a chance. I hope you liked this chapter as well. Talk to me in the comments! 
> 
> ❤️


	3. What's done, is done

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it took me so long to update. I just finished with my exams, and I finally have some time to myself. I swear I won't disappear for so long again. If you're still with me, I love you endlessly.

Timmy

Five minutes have passed since his encounter with Armie, and the cigarette didn’t seem to make anything better. He was still furious, and all worked up, full of adrenaline. When he finished his smoke, he threw the butt on the ground and took a huge breath trying to calm himself a little bit. Saoirse was still nowhere to be found and he didn’t want to leave without her. Waiting was the only option, since going back to that coffee shop was out of question.  
He leaned himself against the wall of the coffee shop and replayed the whole thing in his mind. Armie Hammer being so close to him, actually talking to him. The whole situation was so surreal. If the circumstances were different, he would have been ecstatic, but they weren’t and he wasn’t. No matter how handsome Armie really was, he still was so entitled and that made Timmy kind of sick. He was also very sad for Armie, even though he really didn’t know him. Thinking about it, Armie must live a quite difficult life. He couldn’t imagine ever being on constant high alert, never being able to enjoy something in fear that people would see. Living under a microscope must really suck, and being used to this kind of behavior that makes you think that invading your privacy is a given, must be a kick in the balls. I mean the dude needed a bodyguard. What kind of life is this? Always monitored, never really free?  
And with that thought, Timmy sighed and all of his anger dissipated. Now, there was only sorrow and a little bit of pity, for this huge, beautiful man. He wished things were different, that they had met under different circumstances that would have allowed them to have an actual conversation. He ached for the lost opportunity, almost wishing he could get to know Armie; the real Armie, not Armand Douglas Hammer, the Hollywood heartthrob. Maybe they could have met in this coffee shop, and Tim could have offered to buy him coffee. He would have introduced himself and they would casually chat and get to know each other. They wouldn’t have to fight, and Timmy could hear more than once his name by Armie’s mouth. He would love that, he already did. When Armie said his name, he was almost ready to let the preposterous situation go, and throw himself at him.  
“Wow, Timmy. No self-respect, I see.”, he thought to himself and smiled melancholically. 

“Okay, I’m ready!” Saoirse’s voice woke him up from his daydream. “Ben said he doesn’t need me tomorrow either, so I’m free up until Saturday afternoon. I’m going to pre game so hard for this party on Friday. I just have to finish this damn essay on time, and then I’m so free.”  
“That’s good, Sersh.” Tim answered almost automatically.  
“Hey, pony, it’s over. Don’t beat yourself about it. It was just a misunderstanding. At least you met your celebrity crush, yuhuu.” She said making enthusiastic gestures with her hands, before locking her right one on Timmy’s left arm.  
“Yeah, and it was glorious”, he said mockingly, but smiling nonetheless, since she never failed to cheer him up with her goofiness. “It’s just… It was really stupid, Sersh. Big fuss, for nothing. I just wish we could have met somewhere else, somehow differently.” He said sighing.  
“And then what?” Saoirse asked curiously. “What would have happened, pony? You would have been so shy. Maybe it was better that you met like that, at least now you were angry enough to speak. If things were different, you would have probably just stared at him for a long time, before things got awkward.” She said chuckling and Timmy knew she was right. That probably would have been the case. He never would have bothered him, even if he wasn’t famous. He wouldn’t have made a move, and things would probably be worse. At least now, he knows what his name sounds like from his mouth. What it is like when Armie whispers. Timmy wishes he could hear him whisper more, ideally in his ear while fucking him up against a wall.  
“However…” she interrupted him from his sinful thoughts. “There is always the possibility he would have made a move. He doesn’t seem that shy.” And with that, she started walking back to her and Timmy’s apartment, dragging him along.  
“What makes you think he would be interested in men? Let alone me?” Timmy asked. Anything he’s ever known about Armie suggested that he got around a lot, but never with a man. Maybe it was all for PR purposes, so being gay wouldn’t harm his manly image, but as far as Timmy knew Armie was painfully straight.  
“Oh, he was interested, trust me.” Timmy looked at her quizzically but didn’t ask anything more. What’s done is done. No need to keep thinking about this whole thing, it would only mess with his head even more. He just wanted to get back, smoke a joint, take a shower and maybe nap for a little bit. He had to deliver a translation by 9 pm today, but he was almost done with it. So maybe finish his translation then take a shower, smoke a joint and nap. Yes, that was the plan, and no Armand Hammer could mess that up.

-

He pressed send and like that his job for today was done. He stood up, and went to the kitchen trying to find something to munch on. He didn’t have much of an appetite all day, but his stomach started growling after so many hours of being without food. The fridge was nearly empty apart from a six pack, a jar of mayo and some tomatoes.  
“Hey Sersh, I’m gonna order pizza. Are you hungry?” he shouted for her to hear him.  
“Sure pony, but I want my own. I can’t stand your plain one. I need my meat. At least nourishment-wise” she said playfully coming out from her room.  
“Okay, okay” he said chuckling. “Do you want to order? Get what you want and just get me my usual one? I wanna take a shower, I kind of reek.”  
“Sure, honey. Go do your thing. Just don’t think of Armie when you’re in there. We share that shower.” She said while pretending to be disgusted, which didn’t really work, and resulted in her laughing hysterically.  
“Whatever.” He said kind of annoyed. Annoyed that she thought he would do that, even more annoyed ‘cause he had almost forgotten about Armie and his sexy… well everything.  
When he got on the shower, he turned on the hot water and started washing his curls. And that’s how it started. While he was combing his hair with his fingers, an image passed in front of his eyes. Him pinned against the shower wall, while Armie pounding him from behind pulling his hair with force. And with that, Timmy was instantly, painfully, hard. It’s not like he hadn’t jerked off before in this shower, nor to the thought of Armie, but this was different. Now that he’d met him, that he’d heard his voice, he had seen his eyes from up close, it was so easy to imagine him doing things to him. He could almost hear him whispering in his ear, telling him that he wants to destroy him with his dick, and he could almost feel him biting his neck while fucking him roughly. He never actually realized when he started stroking himself, but before he even knew it, he was cumming hard all over the shower wall, his feet trembling and his breath caught. That was probably one of the most intense orgasms of his life.  
When he got out of the shower, he was blushing furiously even at the thought of Saoirse knowing what he had just done. Fortunately, she was sitting on the floor munching on some garlic bread while scrolling mindlessly through Netflix for something to binge watch while they were eating.  
“How about the good girls?” she said when she acknowledged his return. “Season 2 was just added. Let’s watch that, the first season was really good, and I love me some Whitman.”  
“Cool, yes!” he said enthusiastically and actually grateful that she didn’t notice anything. “You started without me” he whined, pouting his bottom lip.  
“Just tried the garlic bread, pony. I know you don’t usually eat it, anyway.” She said smiling fondly at him.  
God, he loved her. He suddenly remembered the first time they met. It was during high school. She had just moved in at her aunt’s at 16, and Timmy sort of noticed her right away. She was ethereal, with an appearance so unique, she took his breath. He was fascinated instantly and after three days he made his move during a Friday party. He came close to her, asked her if she wanted to hang and she just casually said “unless you have a pussy down there, hanging is the only thing we’ll ever do”. And that was it. Timmy laughed his ass of, and the rest was history. Turned out he was never really attracted to her, just enamored with her whole entity. She was always kind, cheerful, smiling and kind of feisty. He loved her so much. When they graduated and both got into college in NY, they decided to leave the mother nest and live together, be more adults. Best decision of their lives.  
“Yeah, okay. You could have still waited for me, though.” He whined again, less enthusiastically now.  
They started eating in blissful silence, and binge watched like three episodes. There were plans to go out, but at some point they wordlessly decided that wasn’t gonna happen after all. They passed out on the floor, and at some point during the night, they relocated each to their bedroom.

-

Wednesday morning Tim got up, went to two classes (he only had four classed this semester and then he was done), came home, got ready for work, went to work, came back, hang out with Saoirse - who had gone out for coffee with their friend Will, since she didn’t have work up until Saturday-, ordered food and made plans with her about Friday. Then he went back to his room, scrolled through his insta, reblogged some things on tumblr, and went to sleep. 

Thursday was pretty much the same.  
So was Friday.  
Except for the party. Around 8pm, he started getting ready. He wore black jeans, a black t-shirt with two small faces intertwined, his black boots, and a big chain necklace around his neck. He fluffed his curls, stashed a joint in his wallet and got out to the living room to wait for Saoirse. She was ready 5 minutes later. She was wearing a floral white dress, white sneakers and a denim jacket. She barely had any make up on, but it was not like she needed it. They smiled at each other, and got out of the apartment. 

By the time they got to Will’s building, the party was full on. They greeted their friend, who passed a red cup full of something alcoholic in each of them. The mood was light, and Timmy found himself having a great time. At around 11pm, Saoirse had found a girl she was interested in, and kindly removed herself from Timmy’s and Will’s company. Will was talking with a red haired girl, so Tim found a perfect opportunity to slip out to the balcony and light up his joint. Half way through his smoke, a tall dude with short dirty blond hair approached him. Apparently, he had the same thought as Timmy and came out to get baked. He nodded at Timmy, and lighted his joint up. While getting high, he kept staring at Timmy, who was not bothered at all, he kind of liked the attention, being high himself. By the time he was done with his joint, the stranger had almost eye fucked him and Timmy just let him.

With two strands, he came up to Timmy, and kissed him. No warning, no talk, not anything. Timmy liked it. It was uncomplicated, chill and kind of liberating. 

“I’m Tyler”, the stranger said, when he pulled away, starting to kiss his neck.  
“I don’t care.” Timmy said, full of lust, and Tyler got the message. They were just getting off, and he was fine with it. After five minutes, Tyler was on his knees, with Timmy’s dick on his mouth.  
Timmy was having a great time. Tyler was giving relatively good head and there was nothing to complain about. At some point, Tyler deep throated him. When Timmy looked down, all he saw was short dirty blond hair, hair that reminded him of something else. With that thought, he grunted, rested his head back on the wall, imagined Armie on his knees whispering Timmy’s name on his cock, and came forcefully down Tyler’s throat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it. Talk to me in the comments!  
> ❤️

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys. I’ve had this idea for a fic in my head for so long, and I finally decided to write it down. I’m sorry for any mistakes you might encounter, but this is my first attempt at writing something and English is not my native language. I really hope you liked the beginning of my story, and if you did, I just wanted you to know that there are more coming. 
> 
> Come talk to me in the comments, I would love it so much. 
> 
> Thank you in advance.  
> xx


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